The eating disorder gene.

If I was a scientist I could make a fortune, write a bunch of technical papers to get published. I would isolate the eating disorder gene in a strand of DNA. It's a shame I don't like or have a future in science. My mum spent about a year taking half an ecstasy pill every morning so she wouldn't gain weight, filling her mind with grotesque thoughts every time she saw a dirty plate or food to make herself throw up. My grandma considered a tablespoon of peanut butter to be lunch, my great grandma never weighed over 90lb and like the rest of my family could not deal with fat people. I had never seen eating disorders as genetic. It seemed so wholly mine, such a personal thing to me that I never thought there could actually be a link through the family line. My mother just told me that when I'm her age I won't even think about it, like her. It seems so far away to her now that she had never put it in to context that she had an eating disorder. My response was 'maybe, if it doesn't entirely fuck me up before I get to your age.'

xo